right relationships...

We're lucky enough, at the beginning of each semester, to meet with a political science professor from the capital who updates us on the 'current situation' here in Guatemala. I have started to look forward to this talk because rather than numbers and names of presidents and congressmen, etc...he pulls us into a process of critical analysis while painting a picture of Guatemala in relation to other countries around the globe.

When he asked the students how they would guess he responded to an invitation to join the guerrilla movement when he was just 21, one responded "I bet you said 'no'; you don't seem like a violent person". He chuckled and explained that he's not - that he has never killed anyone, doesn't know how to use weapons - but he believed that it was his 'deber' (duty) to join a movement that he felt was really struggling for the people and change. And then, and this is my favorite part, he talked at length about how someone can't really be revolutionary or encourage change if they aren't living in right relationships: with their kids, their neighbors, their classmates, their friends. If we can't figure out how to live in community - if we don't discuss political issues in a loving way with the people close to us, why would we expect our politicians to push through bi-partisan bills? If we don't treat the people in our house well - why would we expect people to make sacrifices for strangers?

It all starts with right relationships. And that's do-able. Poco a poco.

suerte del gato negro...

A cat fell through the roof of my room this morning.

I arrived here in Guatemala late last night after a sweet good-bye in Managua and a short plane ride into the capital. The hostel is empty; students don't arrive until tomorrow and my trusty companero Chepe won't be with me for parts of the semester, this being one of them.

So I got to bed kind of late and in the midst of strange dreams, around 5:45 am, I hear a loud crash and quick movement on the other side of the room. Entirely disoriented (not being able to remember exactly where I was) I tried to figure out what had happened and noticed a hole in the ceiling...right above my computer. I walked over to that side of the room, in the dark and reached across the bed to unplug my laptop when something hissed at me and I, naturally, screamed, waking up the house staff. It was a bit of an ordeal, street cats aren't friendly when they're scared and they certainly aren't something you want hanging out in your luggage. But we got it out, moved my luggage and I went back to sleep for another hour.

Some may consider a black cat falling from the sky, the morning before students' arrival to be a negative omen. However, a black cat in the audience the opening night in theater is also considered to foreshadow a successful play. Choosing to be optimistic, I'll opt for the latter and take it as a sign that the group on it's way here will be fabulous.

longing in the new year...

Well, it's a new year and a new semester, and with slight hesitation, I'd like to renew a commitment to write here more often. Being home for break was lovely and seeing people that I care about so deeply, that love me so well, is always life giving. It also reminds me of the stark differences between my world here and my world there, reminding me how important it is to write from time to time. To relay pieces of a different reality. If nothing else, to share a different perspective. To all who vocalized appreciation for these little musings I post, thank you; it's incredible encouragement.

Today was also a day of commitment for my brother and sister-in-law as they, with family present, participated in Noah's dedication at their home church. (Noah is 6 months old now and as adorable as ever - see 'proud-aunt-picture' to side.) I'm back in Nicaragua, so I obviously couldn't be there but I haven't stopped thinking about him, and his amazing parents, all day. I love my work and feel that this is where I should be; but I just hate being so far away on days like today.

I asked myself, in an email to my mom "How does one prioritize such important things like this? And will they still know how much I love them all...although I wasn't there for that specific moment?" She answered (in her never-ending wisdom and consistently speedy response time) with a blessing encouraging my longing. My longing to be in more than one place at once, my longing to help create spaces for change, my longing to belong to a circle of friends, a movement, to show family how crucial they are to who I am and how I move through this world.

So I thought I'd pass along her blessing, holding this sentiment for my little nephew as well as all of you reading this. Happy new year.


For Longing
by John O'Donohue

Blessed be the longing that brought you here
And quickens your soul with wonder.

May you have the courage to listen to the voice of desire
That disturbs you when you have settled for something safe.

May you have the wisdom to enter generously into your own unease
To discover the new direction your longing wants you to take.

May the forms of your belonging - in love, creativity, and friendship -
Be equal to the grandeur and the call of your soul.

May the one you long for long for you.

May your dreams gradually reveal the destination of your desire.

May a secret Providence guide your thought and nurture your feeling.

May your mind inhabit your life with the sureness with which your body inhabits the world.

May your heart never be haunted by ghost-structures of old damage.

May you come to accept your longing as divine urgency.

May you know the urgency with which God longs for you.