a civilian in 'la violencia'...

"At five years old I didn't understand well what was happening. But I had the sensation that something bad was going on and as I grew I realized who was paying the price of the war."

The school that the students attend preaches a pretty strong liberal agenda. However, as a program we attempt to give them exposure to as many different perspectives as possible. Earlier this semester they met with a colonel from the Guatmalan army and today they met with a man who gave his perspective as a civilian during the war.

I sat there and listened to his testimony, which begins with him talking about losing his uncle at age 5 and continues with stories of death and absurd violence and loss - typical, i suppose, of someone who grew up in the midst of a 36 year 'civil war'. I put 'civil war' in quotations because while that's the way that texts refer to it, he would say that when you speak with people who were not directly involved with either side they will simply refer to the years of the war as 'la violencia'.

"What is often forgotten is that the civilians, who did not decide to start the war, paid the price for it and still have not reaped the benefits of it."

During the time of violence here in Guatemala there were approximately 45,000 members of the military, 5,000 members of the guerrilla and some 200,000 civilians affected (affected = killed, tortured, disappeared). Those numbers are ridiculous. He spoke of his life reality with calm and a level of emotional health and dare I say even empathy for his audience (recognizing the weight of the subject matter and the way it affects people who haven't yet heard such a testimony) that floored me. He is married and spoke of the importance and necessity to talk through the things both he and his wife have lived. But he asked us, "what happens to the thousands and thousands of Guatemalans that haven't been able to talk through or manage such emotions?"

What does a society look like post conflict? Not just whether or not they have been officially secured as a 'democracy' or whether or not their economy is improving, but emotionally/psychologically, what does conflict do to individuals and families and communities. And is it really worth it? And are we actually weighing all of these factors when we decide to 'assist' other countries in their conflicts.

"Un conflicto no es tan simple como parece...No puedo facilmente aplaudir a los 'heroes' de la guerra. Perdon, no puedo."