hallowness...

It's hard to hear about difficulties at home when one is so far away. We never really get taught how to grieve losses or how to comfort those experiencing loss but we certainly all develop our own methods. Yesterday - in the face of some heavy emails and a personal loss I was driven to my own coping methods: a chat with Tory, an ice cream cone...and then I still needed something more.

I'm very much a 'words person' and so I took to reading old emails (yes - I'm fairly obsessive about archiving all emails I receive). Above all, words from people with whom I've lost touch. I found comfort in the fact that although we no longer write, I can continue learning from them and continue feeling their love and care. A dear friend wrote a few years back while we were both embarking on new and somewhat overwhelming ventures in our respective careers. He spoke to the emptiness we can feel and the opportunity that it creates in us. I just loved this chunk when I reread it last night:

"I feel called to what i do and my hollowness is only creating more room for God to work in and shape my life. I can't wait for that mighty rushing wind to come through, cause it feels like i'm running out of my own, and i'm going to need a lot to get through the next few weeks. I don't doubt that it will happen, I'm just intimidated by what it will do and feel like in me."

What a beautiful and humble expression of faith. Thank you all for your words as I continue learning on this newest of journeys (and now you know you're being archived!) - I'm beyond blessed with deep friendships and incredible family.